May 29th 2014
First exam of the first year in 2 days. I have 5 exams. Have been drinking coffee every single day in the last 1 week. Just realised that I'm so doomed right now. I'm so so so so lazy in these 2 terms. I know I'm not smart, or I'm just way too lazy or whatever. I just feel so disappointed to my self because for again and again cause I didn't do anything much to fix it. I'm always being left behind from other friends. Talking with them, their grades are always higher. They can pass while I'm not, they're in A or B while I'm on C. I know I'm just having fun, I'm not hardworking at all, not productive, haven't tried my best. And yah now I'm taking the consequences. Feel so pissed when everyone always achieve smthg higher than you. I've been so blessed. But all I can do is just making problems, spending money, and arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm really really annoyed with my own self. I swear I'll do better next year. I swear I won't waste every single day anymore. I know what I did wrong. Too careless during the term. So lazy, so stupid. Too many shits happens these day. Money, memories, education. I'm so pissed so disappointed with my own self.. It just can't be expressed in any better way than this anymore.
I'm so pissed, and all I can do now is just to try my best to pass the exams.
I swear I'll do better next year. No more having fun during the weeks. Holiday is holiday, studying and studying. It's gonna be even more difficult than now. Oh please I just don't wanna fail or being left behind anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Really want to have placement as well, at least during summer after year 2 please!! arghhhhh, in some society as well, I want to get more formally involved in it, gain experiences, though I also know the consequences, hope next year I can do my task from the upcoming position even better than now.
I'm so pissed right now that I'm gonna die!!! Arghhh!!!
current fav songs:
Fly To The Sky - 너 를 너 를 너 를
G.O.D: The Lone Duckling
Xia Junsu -Rainy Night
Jung Joon Young & Younha: Just The Way You Are
LAN-ThursMay29th'14-15:39
best regards,
JeslyneYunita
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